So I having been blogging my thoughts (for myself really) for the past 6 weeks since starting surgery. I am going to share them with you because while they reveal my insecurities and randomness, I don’t think it would make sense not sharing one of the most rewarding and exhausting times of medical school. These posts are on my personal blog where I don’t expect anyone to read them because no one knows what it’s called! lol. I won’t post all of them at once, but here goes…
“To the end as I know it” (Originally published on June 15, 2012)
I took Step 1 exactly a week ago. Now I am about to start my first rotation on surgery on Monday. Acute Care Service. Night flow (aka 7pm-7am). Oh boy. Studying for Step 1 made me feel confident again in my knowledge, but now I feel like I know absolutely nothing. I just stole my boyfriend’s roommate’s “Surgical Recall” review book in hopes that I can familiarize myself with some surgical terms before I get all my textbooks and review books for surgery which I won’t really have time to read (apparently). I have stopped dreaming about continuously trying to finish Step 1 since last Thursday but now have started dreaming about surgery and feeling hopelessly confused and lost.
On the other hand, I do love my new white coat. It’s at least 2 steps up from my freshman/sophomore year white coat in the fabric totem pole (so much softer on my skin), fitted (I got the smallest size that still gave me room for my snacks), and embroidered with the school emblem and my name. I also bought some brown “uglycomfy shoes” at Naturalizer last week which I am quite happy about. I feel that they’re actually quite CUTE “uglycomfy shoes” and I’m just sorry they didn’t have them in black as well.
So I feel as ready as I can be. I have my white coat, my new snacks (with fiber), pager with my boyfriend’s pager addy just in case I wind up in the ED b/c of a stress MI, “Surgical Recall” + more textbooks on the way, my scrubs, “uglycomfykindacute shoes”, and my wits.
If I can’t make this look good (while I figure out how to get good at this), then at least I hope I don’t make anyone else look bad.