Wow I cannot believe how much I have learned this year! After completing 2 weeks of tests, one week of normal in house exams and one week of finals/national mock boards, I wasn’t feeling super knowledgeable. I was wondering was this whole year a waste? I was exhausted and literally going blind from studying non-stop for 3 weeks. But now I am on wards in Internal medicine and I can clearly see how much I have learned. Everyone says that you’ll be amazed by how much you learn but I didn’t know how amazed I would be. I recognize some basic medications, bio-chemical pathways, visual signs of diseases, tests, and lab workups. Instead of just nodding at what the residents are saying I actually understand almost every word and for once in my medical career I do not doubt that I can do this. I was even able to complete a history and physical exam. Don’t get me wrong there is still SO much that I do not know but I am confident that in 3 years I will be able to graduate and become a competent Intern.
My first year of medical school has been filled with many ups and downs. Good grades and not so good of grades, days when I felt like I learned a lot and days that I felt were a complete waste, and feelings of excitement for what my future holds and feelings of terror for what my future holds. Some days I had to remind myself that this is an opportunity I have been working towards my whole life and have even begged God to give me. I would never have been able to make it though this year without the incredible support of my family, friends, husband and God. What has gotten me though the hardest of days is knowing that I am pursing a career that I know God has called me to do. And He doesn’t make mistakes so obviously I am supposed to be here. Since I was a little girl I have felt that I was put on this earth to be a physician but it wasn’t until later in my life that I realized it was God’s call to service that I was experiencing. I thank Him for giving me this chance and believing in my capabilities when I didn’t believe in them myself.
Here’s to two more weeks on pediatric wards and then summer vacation! I will be running a summer camp research project and traveling to Greece, Turkey and Austria with my mom. It’s going to be a busy but fun summer. See you all in the fall.