I’m going to admit something that makes me feel kind of lame: I think I’ve sort of forgotten how to have fun.
The swing at the playground by my apartment.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely enjoying my life, but these final months are kind of a weird time in our lives. We fourth years are pretty much done with interviews (see my post on that here), and lots of us are doing electives that are of interest to us.
Now when I go to work I’m excited to be there and when I come home, sure I’m reading on my patients, but I’m not trying to keep up with a mountain of classes or study for a Board and there’s nothing left to do for applications but wait for Match Day in March.
And so I have free time.
What? Yes it is weird.
We worked really hard to reach this point. Long long hours in the hospital, overnights, never seeing the sun, so many tears shed over Pathophysiology––I know it’s not just me––and so much stress and travel to get that rank list ready.
And now I find myself startled by the small amount of stress in my life. Which looks SO silly when I type it, but it’s really brought home for me the fact that it’s been a long time since I had time for fun hobbies and I’m not even quite sure of what I really like to do. But I am completely caught up on quite a lot of TV shows right now, and I’m doing my best to try new things.
I might be mostly alone in this, but in case I’m not, I just wanted anyone else who’s feeling this way to know that it’s okay that we don’t remember what we used to do to have fun––we’ve been busy.
I get to see my friends outside of the hospital AND I get to see my husband.
I’m training for another half-marathon. This was the view from Smiley Heights on my run this morning.
I also bought a fish. It’s a baby betta. If we don’t kill it, it’ll grow up. Her name’s Victoria Dragonslayer, but I really have no idea if she’s actually a girl.
And sometimes I bake. I got out the Kitchenaid Mixer we got for the wedding and it made some sweet banana bread.
These are mostly things I’ve liked to do throughout my time in med school, and I feel weird but completely blessed that I have some time for them as we come up towards the end of these 4 years.
After all, residency will come soon enough.